Last night I was feeling so emotional. I’ve got so much I want to do, a few things I am doing, and with a toddler in tow too. .This Exhausted mental mummy felt lost
Trying to make ends meet, whilst relying on my hubby’s income and the meager universal credits which are spent pretty much before they arrive….
I can’t treat myself without an app that lets me earn credits with Amazon… It takes weeks to earn £20 but that is purely my gift to myself, usually a couple of books, some for research, some for enjoyment.
And now I’m trying to get my new business off the ground too, and loving what I do, but feel I’m always going backwards and not forwards.
Surely I’m not the only one who is struggling in life? I thought us adults were meant to be sorted… 🤔🤔🤔🤔…. I feel, at times, that I’ve failed at life…
So yesterday I left my phone at my mum’s house. By the time I realised, it was a bit late to go and get it, and she’s not that local anymore.
But we had a whole day there yesterday, and my son loved it. I was feeling very tired and felt a bit anxious to be honest. We went for a walk to see the horses up the road, and a few times I lost my confidence and got a bit upset and frustrated with myself, and I did get a bit snappy with my mum, which I shouldn’t do but it just comes out, so she was a bit frustrated too.
I got home, was going to write a quick blog up before I went to bed only to find no phone 😂😂 it had been pushed under my mums sofa 😂😂.
Well we were back at my mum’s this morning, and I took my coursework as I needed to finish latest assignment in rough, so I did that, ready to type up tomorrow at some point.
So feeling a bit tired today, but I am loving my crystal business. I’ve had a lot of interest today, so a few orders would be nice. We are based in the UK. And although I wasn’t going to publish sales posts on my blog I’ll pop the link below anyway XXX
I am currently working on my unit 3 for course, about a third through it, and I feel better due to therapy, and considering that alternate therapies are definitely the way to go.
I believe that I am getting stronger, my mind is more free. I am feeling a bit more relaxed. I am still a brand promoter for thrive, and I know a lot of people are skeptical about products that promote health, especially weight loss (my link) but it you want to have a look my link is in brackets above.
But I’m also thinking of crystals, I have always been drawn to spiritual items and after my last EMDR session I feel more inclined to look at a business in crystals.
Well we had a nice family morning, we went to the farm where they have a big indoor play bit, a small indoor play bit and an outdoor play area, perfect for a day where the weather isn’t sure what to do.
The lovely lady in this picture was with her 2 nieces, and my son was playing with them. Her youngest niece decided she wanted to play hide and seek, so they did. She hid and after a bit the lady couldn’t find her. She called her a few times, no response, and she was getting a bit concerned (don’t blame her) and then panic as still no answer. We hadn’t seen the girl run to the gate but kids are fast when they want to be. My hubby went to the main bit, asking around if anyone had seen a little girl on her own, the lady was really panicking, the older girl was a little scared, and I sat with her and my son… Just then the little girl appeared from a castle play bit…. Even though we had checked it, hadn’t realised there was a hidey hole which she had tucked herself into it. The poor lady felt embarrassed, but grateful that we were there… We were the only other ones in the outdoor area. She kept saying thank you, but no thanks were needed, we just wanted the girl to be ok and she was.
I hope she had a bit more of an easier afternoon with her nieces.
And a bit of silliness… Toilet seats at the farm
After therapy on Sunday, I usually feel so tired but I’ve been a bit recharged instead and I’ve got a clearer head and feel things are changing for the best.
Wow, what a session. We concentrated on the trauma of my labour through EMDR, and it brought so much back to my mind, but showed that my hubby was my rock throughout it all (I knew this really, but in the drama of all of it) He was my calm throughout it all.
It was very emotional, but it felt right opening up and really just let it overflow.
Not only that but I saw what looked like an orb bobbing around
Looked like these
And a bit later on there was a ghostly hand hovering over my shoulder. My therapist noticed me looking towards it briefly. I didn’t feel scared, and she said there were good spirits and Angels in her home, but thinks these are ones that follow me around. It felt very comforting.
We then did some inner child hypnotherapy, which we haven’t done before but it felt nice..
And usually after therapy I feel drained, but I came out feeling a bit more awake. 😍😍
So do you believe in angels/ghosts, or anything spiritual?????
Well it’s been a fortnight since my last session, so have things changed?
I feel more confident in some ways, and trying to expose myself to what is holding me back.
I am also feeling a bit “meh”, as had 2 blips this week. I’m not going to be hard on myself though. I knew i would find it hard over the summer holidays.
I feel I can’t get what I want to get done with having my hubby around everyday (even though he’s been working a lot and I’ve coped with him being around) I just don’t like my routine to be messed up.
I like my therapy sessions though, because for a few hours my phone goes off, no distractions, just my therapist and me. She has such a calming manner and her home is relaxing (and of course I get to see her beautiful donkeys 😍😍)
I had so much planned for my blog, my support group and my studies, and feel like I’ve not achieved much these last few weeks.
But a new week begins tomorrow, so I’ll set my goals tonight, and stick to my plans.
I’m shattered before I start today 😴😴 my little lad woke up at half 4, scared of something, and I’ve not been able to get back to sleep. I may try and get another hour or so..
I’ll update how therapy went later on or tomorrow, it always wears me out (but in a good way)
I haven’t had much to write about this week… I knew this would happen with hubby being off work. We have been organising the house better, and been to his mum’s… We also had an afternoon free of our son (whilst my mum and stepdad took him out for a day) so we had a treat at garden center of coffee and cake. (Sadly the cakes weren’t overally nice).
After a day out someone was so tired he fell asleep the minute he got home… So put him to bed…. And nearly 13 hours later, and he only woke once, he’s still asleep 🤯. Wish I had slept that long… I’ve had about 5 hours 😴😴😴
But I don’t look that bad right??? Going to make a cuppa and have half an hour or so before hubby and son get up
Oh and I’ve done my second assignment for college (in rough), and made a start on the third. Will type the second one up later on today. 😍😍
And I bought a reusable notebook so I am not using notebook after notebook… I can do my work in rough, scan and save and/or just wipe it and do next lot of work. Amazing item.
Morning WordPress world, how’s everyone doing??? I was up till about 3am, and woke at 7…. Feeling a bit tired. Clock watching isn’t fun, so decided to listen to audio book (also to try and drown out hubby snoring 🙄🙄🙄)…. Which helped me nod off, but also, as it’s a crime thriller I’m listening to, put weird dreams in my head…not to mention disturbing so I won’t add it in my blog.
As many of you know I recently started doing my level 2 in mental health. I checked my college profile last night to find I had passed my first assignment with full marks and my tutor was impressed with the quality of my work as well as my grammar, punctuation and Spelling. That made my evening. Not bad as I am dyslexic…. 😍😍😍😍😍😍
And I was browsing Amazon, as I have a gift voucher to use, and a planner I had my eye on,which was £20, down from £29.99 ,had been reduced to £12.99, and a 30% discount on that, so it was just over £7….. I don’t exactly need another planner but I have a planner obsession. That’s arriving today woooo….
And I have a feeling, whatever is causing my brain to being odd may be a time thing, and that it will heal… As I am noticing I do thinks better now, not 100%, but some improvements.
I feel happy, positive and determined to live my life well xxxx 😘😘😘😘😘
Every day Facebook brings up memories of past posts throughout the years, and it’s made me feel a bit emotional.
I loved my Zumba, I was training to be a Zumba instructor and loved it so much, but then I had my accident and boom…. Everything changed.
I have recently been playing some of my favourite tracks and although it’s been 3 years since I last Went I still remember some of the routines, but omg my fitness is no way as good as it was back then.
Even if I wanted to go back, I could afford to do it anyhow, 😦 but my Zumba tunes remind me of happy times. It just makes me feel sad.
So my aim is to get back to Zumba asap, my brain and body will thank me for it…. Xxx